HOW TO STOP PROCRASTINATING PART I
8 Minute read. By Neil Sharma
This article is deliberately broken into two parts. My logic behind doing so is simple. If you are a procrastinator, you will probably give up on reading this…about halfway (maybe even earlier). So, you can read both parts, or skip to the second part as it will give you the tools you can use right away, without all the preamble. Keep in mind though, each part is only about an 8 minute read in total. You can do it…I have faith in you.
Ironically, I am writing this piece because I am procrastinating. I am currently reading a business model book in Starbucks, that I know has invaluable information...but I just can’t focus on the shitty thing.
More important distractions and useless ruminations have my attention. For instance, currently I want to know…why does this fly insist on flying around me and then touch landing on my head? …I don’t understand what is so appealing about my head to this little bastard?...Look at the size of that SUV…it’s more like a small tank…who needs to drive something that big?...I will bet they have never even taken that thing on a dirt road let alone off- roading. Sonofabitch fly…I swear I am going to murder this little jerk. I need to invent a tiny gun that can shoot flies…wait, I think there is one already. Let me google this.
On and on…At any rate you get the point, let me get back to the purpose of this piece before taking you down an endless rabbit hole and start talking about the guy sitting in front of me, currently unabashedly digging for gold up his nose.
So why do we procrastinate? Well, there are quite a few strong scientific and psychological reasons we procrastinate. I’m not delving into all the research and theory into procrastination in this piece. Rather, I am giving you a highlight reel and what I feel through my experience and learning over the years, are the major reasons we procrastinate, and how not to; or at least help you to minimize your tendency to procrastinate.
So let’s jump in.
In my personal and professional experience; and because leading psychologists, motivational experts, neuroscientists and the like have done extensive research and work in this area over many years, we procrastinate because everything we distract ourselves with brings us more pleasure than the actual task at hand, which is “painful” to us, to varying degrees.
It is that simple. We avoid pain in whatever form, to seek out pleasurable, feel good, alternatives. Feel free to Google “avoid pain seek pleasure” for pages and pages of links on this concept.
In fact, the pain avoidance/pleasure seeking concept stems from very old biological roots. Specifically, one of the oldest and most powerful parts of our brain, the limbic system, aside from automatically keeping us safe from danger (like, run away from that angry tiger you idiot) also teaches us to run away from our modern day “dangers” and unpleasant tasks (like an assignment, situations where we can be rejected, public speaking, or confronting a friend about their awful behaviour the previous night) and seek out a more pleasurable alternative. While the latter examples won’t kill or dismember us, our modern day “dangers” still trigger the brain into guiding us away from pain, and towards pleasure.
So, by the time your newer, weaker part of the brain, the neocortex (responsible for planning, anticipating and decision making, to name a few functions) steps up to the plate and tries to pry you away from watching absurd TikTok or Instagram videos (pleasure), it’s probably too late.
Your limbic system has already moved you away from the unpleasant task and succumbed to what feels good. Your limbic system is automatic, and compelled to dive into the pleasurable.
Your neocortex on the other hand, isn’t automatic. It’s the part of the brain that you have to manually instruct to…say…start writing that 5 page report…now! You can guess which part of the brain typically wins. I will give you a hint; It’s the TikTok video of some asshole dancing with his dog.
Let’s be honest, it is more pleasurable to sit on the couch, watch Netflix and eat 4 slices of delicious, ass widening pizza, then it is to get to the gym and jump on a treadmill for 30 minutes, or to handle some other critical, but painful task like finishing that personal budget we have been “planning” for 3 months.
Of course, at some point we are forced and then rushed to get the annoying or painful task done when we realize it is due in an hour, day, or whenever required. Now…we need to get this shit done!! In many instances, particularly if it isn’t a work task, or essential task with immediate consequences, we don’t finish it at all. And that is f@cking scary.
Because once you allow that to happen, it becomes easier and easier to let other things slip. In other words, frequent procrastination may lead to habitual quitting. And while quitting a task you’ve elected to do may not seem like a big deal in the moment, it may be setting you up for a life of wonderful and inspiring endeavours, that you never see to the end, nor bring to life.
Simply put, a life filled with possibilities and potentially profound experiences and growth opportunities are killed because you have become a quitter.
The other reasons.
Fear. The other deeper, more important and insidious causes for procrastination are that we have lengthy underlying and deeply rooted reasons. Usually, the main culprit is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of embarrassment, fear of independence, fearful and painful memories and associations, fear of success, to name a few. The origins of this fear may stem from myriad possibilities like a miserable childhood, physical and mental trauma, or shitty experiences that have left indelible marks on us over the years. The culmination of which are personal patterns or subversive “systems” for avoiding those experiences.
To embrace the pain and work through it, or disrupt these protective patterns or systems we have worked hard to build over the years, would, from a psychological and physiological perspective, put us directly into harm’s way and make us feel…well, pain. It might be pain in the form of worry, shame, embarrassment, the unknown and uncertainty, loss of control etc., the list is extensive. The bottom line is we want to avoid pain, and seek pleasure.
Well, here is the thing. If you have a goal or important task to achieve or complete, then honestly, you need to pull on your big boy/girl pants, and f@ck your fears. You need to be vulnerable, open and embrace the fear that is holding you back.
Why? Because just beyond fear is beauty…magic…possibility. Don’t just take my word on this, think back to all the times you have been afraid to do something new. Once you thought about and visualized what was on the other side of the thing you feared; fun, excitement, strength, a rush etc., and took the leap by crossing over from fear and immersing yourself in the “scary” task and opened up to what’s possible…you probably experienced and walked away having learned or did something new and amazing. Or, you learned it wasn’t for you. But I guarantee you had a novel, learned and interesting experience, or discovered something totally new about yourself.
The end product. Next, I believe people have a tendency to focus and imagine the end product of their hard work, while in actual reality they are only just starting the job or task.
Here are some examples of what I mean:
End product: Thinking about the great novel we are writing, and the book signings to follow at Chapters or Barnes and Noble.
Reality: We have just typed the first paragraph, of the first page, of our yet to be great novel.
End product: Imagining the incredible A+ paper we are about to hand in at the beginning of class.
Reality: We have just started brainstorming the topic of our paper, in our underwear, from home.
End product: Thinking about how you can find, afford and Feng Shui the shit out of your office, for your new and exciting start-up business venture.
Reality: You just started the outline of the first draft of your business plan, based on a business plan template, you literally Googled minutes before.
This, while pretty normal, is also mental! Focussing on the end product or result at the beginning of the task, project or endeavour, will only create unnecessary stress, ruin the process, enhance your fear and doubt, and crush your forward progress and momentum as your expectations don’t meet your current real time reality.
You don’t start at the end of a book you just bought from the book store, do you? Unless you are that weird percentage of the population that doesn’t have patience or just can’t live with the powerful anticipation of the plot twist. No, you read it one page at a time, experiencing all the beauty contained within, until you get to the end.
You don’t buy a puzzle fully completed do you? No, you grab one piece, then another and struggle to find and connect each hateful and annoyingly similar piece, one at a time, until at some point you look up and see the completed and magnificent puzzle.
Instead of just breaking down the university paper, the project your ass head boss handed to you, your big business dream, weight loss goal etc., into smaller manageable, attainable, and frankly, enjoyable and rewarding pieces, we get overwhelmed, frustrated, bored and often paralyzed by the sheer size and scope of the end product or result we are working on.
We initially get pumped up, excited and then ultimately overwhelmed or bored at the new thing we are tasked with or take on, instead of realizing that the steps and processes involved in the new thing we are doing are equally and arguably more exciting and rewarding than the final product. The processes and steps, if you take the time to consider and appreciate them, are akin to unformed clay you are rolling, kneading, shaping, decorating, firing and ultimately turning into an exquisite masterpiece.